Dark clouds above me.

How am I going to survive all this?
Clueless.
Life can be really distress.
I wish I never exist.
Work in the office is always a mad rush.
Working overtime & weekends.
I don't mind at all.
Because I want to learn more.
I want to get promotion.
I want to get recognition for my work done.
I want to gain more experince.
And I want better pay in the future.
I still can handle all of it.

But...
One particular thing bother me alot.
Irritable nagging at home!
I just don't understand WHY you never stop nagging me???
What wrong I've done???
I always ask myself.
It is because what I did in past 2 yrs???
Cant you just get over what I did in past 2 yrs???
Why cant you understand me at all???
What is me to you???
Why you always put me down???
Why you never happy & appreciate what good things that I did???
Why??? Why??? Why???
Those nagging really hurt me, do you know that???
I've been trying my best all this years to please you. Make you happy.
I worked. Pay my own fees. Pay my insurance. Pay for my own petrol.
But you still not happy with me.
Saying that I cant survive with my pay so low!
You find this job for me in this company which is owned by your friend.
You know very well that how stingy he is.
I told you before I want to change my job. Discouraged by you. FINE.
Nowadays, you want me to get a higher pay.
I know who you compare me with.
If I were to work in a commerial company like those travelling agencies,
big trading companies, etc. my pay is definetly higher than my current pay for now.
But in long term, I still didnt get to earn so much.
And I just stuck there.
Even Im in another company, the pay only few hundred more.
Im now working in an audit firm which help me to gain more experience
so I can get better position & better pay in the future.
And it's much more better compared than those companies.
By the time I have those experience,
I can collect some small scale companies a/c to do it myself.
I still can earn $$$ from there.

Dont forget that I havent finish my studies.
I still have long way to go.
Im only started working in 2005.
You cant expect me to be in higher position & high pay now.
Even I have the chance.
Sorry. I dont want.
I still want to learn more.

Sorrowful soul of mine.